10 Keys to Most (in)Effective Worship (mis)Leading
Gangai Victor
Warning: In case you somehow fail to see it, this is a sarcastic post.
I’ve had my share of bad worship sessions – some led by myself and some by others. From all these experiences, here are 10 excellent and best practices that’ll help you to simply blow the audience away:
1. Arrive late on stage. Take your place after gesticulating wildly to the team and the sound guy, plug in your instrument as loudly as possible. Basic goal is to make enough noises to let everyone (especially the congregation) know you’re late. Did I tell you the anointing comes only with the person coming on stage last?
2. Dress like a rock/movie star. Wear Tees that say ‘Beer is better than women!’ or ‘I want your money’ or ‘I sold my soul to rock music’ or…u get what I mean, right? Pictures of skulls + cross bones will have added effect. Girls, please dress provocatively ok, more skin show will really open the eyes of the congregation’s heart.
3. Don’t set sound…in fact tell the sound guy to shut up and just worship. Make sure there’s lots of feedback from the speakers to set the church on fire for the Lord. God enjoys cacophony you see.
4. Guitarists and Violinists, don’t tune your instruments…God loves to create a new sound out of his worship musicians, right?
5. Don’t play correct chords, ‘cos that might help the singers to sing correctly (we can’t allow that to happen, can we?). In fact every musician must play a different wrong chord at all times to create a more prayerful environment for your church. Another tip: Combine this with a killer guitar solo or overplay your instrument throughout the song in wrong scales to glorify the Lord most effectively.
6. Sing off-key at a pitch that’s high enough to ensure no one else can sing with you. Only then the congregation can stand in silence, be still and know the Lord. Another tip for greater effect: Fill your set-list with only new songs.
7. Make wild head banging movements and keep gesturing loudly to the team all the time, else the congregation might concentrate on the worship and not pay attention to you.
8. Forget song lyrics and stare nervously at everyone during the song. Then the worship will really come alive.
9. Call out for the chorus and sing the bridge instead or vice versa. So you can successfully confuse the guy managing the lyric slides and ensure the lyrics on the screen do not coordinate with what you are singing. We don’t want the congregation to sing do we?
10. Make rich, profound and unique worship leader prayers like ‘uhhh, we just want to praise you God… uhhh, we just want to thank you God… uhhh, you are my Lord O God… uhhh’ etc. for total edification of your church.
The above article, ’10 Keys to Most (in)Effective Worship (mis)Leading’ is written by Gangai Victor. The material was retrieved form www.worshipideas.com/7-key-traits-of-anointed-worship-leaders/.
The material is most likely copyrighted and should not be reprinted under any other name or author. However, this material may be freely used for personal study or research purposes.
