Balancing Home and Ministry While in the Music Ministry
Buffie Dumas
Priorities
1. God – (kind of a no-brainer), Jesus is the head of the household
2. Your Spouse – the children were never intended to be more important that your relationship with your spouse although at times they definitely can take center stage and can be consuming little beings.
3. Your Children – At times we have a tendency to brush them aside because of the demands of our ministry, but let’s face it, they are the only things we can take to heaven with us.
4. Your Ministry – When the first three things are lined up correctly, your ministry can be very effective in leading people to Christ. People will want to pattern their lives after the successful families they see. There is no greater witness than a family that is serving Jesus together as a family.
What is ‘THE MAIN THING’
You as a family need to sit down and make a list of the things that are important to you as an individual, as a couple, and as a family. You need to make a list of goals and dreams and then list what’s going to take to achieve those things. You need to drop the things that are a distraction or things that may hinder you from keeping those goals.
Things Important To the Dumas Family
1. Making family time fun. Our family times were different than other families. We rarely had Sunday dinner because of choir practices. It was much more important to get a nap than to eat. We did family dinners on off nights.
2. Finding something that each child could excel at, not necessarily musical.
3. ‘Getting’ to go to church (as opposed to ‘having’ to go to church). Sometimes, on church nights, we would build up the excitement before we even got to church. We tried to talk about all the ‘cool stuff’ that happened while we were at church.
4. Sticking up for one another. The whole ‘just because you’re the pastor’s kid’ syndrome.
5. Making it ok to make a mistake. Our children are just as normal as everyone else’s.
6. Building a healthy relationship between the church and the family. This included never talking about the saints or the ministry in a negative way, not indulging in gossip about the people in church and always trying to see the good in people. Giving people the benefit of doubt unless otherwise told.
7. It was more important to ‘get’ to church than it was to ‘look good’ at church. I can’t tell you how many times we brought the children to church in their pajamas. I had plenty of help when I got to church, so what difference did it make if they were not ‘just perfect’ when we walked through the doors.
Recommended Reading
1. The Key To Your Child’s Heart by Gary Smalley
2. Hidden Keys of a Loving and Lasting Marriage by Gary Smalley
3. Breakthrough Parenting by John Maxwell
4. Parenting Isn’t for Cowards by Dr. James Dobson
5. Strike the Original Match by Charles Swindoll
6. Personality Plus by Florence Littauer
7. Understanding the Male Temperament by Tim LaHaye
8. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley
9. Long Term Marriage by Floyd and Harriet Thatcher
10. As Silver Refined by Kay Arthur
11. The Bait of Satan by John Bevere
12. The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson
13. Making Kids Mind Without Losing Yours by Kevin Lehman
14. Keeping Your Family Strong in a World Gone Wrong by Kevin Lehman
Recommended Video Series
1. ‘Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships’ by Gary Smalley
2. ‘Growing Kids God’s Way’ by Gary Ezzo
3. ‘Maximum Marriage’ by Tim Timmons
The above article, ‘Balancing Home and Ministry,’ is written by Buffie Dumas. The article was excerpted from Class Handout Notes, 2008 Music Fest, Indianapols, IN.
The material is most likely copyrighted and should not be reprinted under any other name or author. However, this material may be freely used for personal study or research purposes.
