How To Respect Your Pastor’s Wife
By Evangeline Rodenbush

Express Appreciation And Support

Send a card, flower, give her a hug, verbally express your love, support, and appreciation to her often. (No phone calls, please….her time is limited.) There is no feeling quite like that of being appreciated.

Offer Assistance

Let her know that you re willing to help her and ask her to contact you if she needs your help. Do not `bug’ her, just be willing and available. Look for things that need to be done, but always ask before proceeding. Suggested areas:

A babysitting
B mowing yard
C washing windows-other housework
D ironing
E typing-office work
F picking up kids g. running errands

Help With Entertainment

It is such a blessing when members offer to prepare and take in food (especially desserts) when the pastor and wife are entertaining guests. Again, offer, be willing, and be available. This might be a good time also to offer to baby-sit or pick up kids.

Honor Her, Especially On Special Days

Don’t forget her birthday, anniversary, Mother’s day, and other special occasions. Special gifts, cards, services, banquets, parties, and honors should be well-planned in advance. Perhaps the pastor could appoint someone to be responsible for organizing such occasions.

Love Her Children And Husband

Nothing will make her feel better than for her children to be accepted and loved, even if they are not perfect; an nothing will hurt worse than if they are not. A most hurtful thing to a mother’s heart is for others to assume the responsibility of training or disciplining her children…this is the parent’s job. The pastor’s children should be treated with the same consideration as the children of any other person in the church. They should also be honored on special days.

Love her husband. It is the nature of a woman to be protective of her family… including her family. To complain to her about her pastor husband or make derogatory comments about him, hurts her and puts her in defensive mode. To you, he is a pastor, to her, he is the love of her life.

Be Loyal

Defend her and her family. It is so comforting to know that there are those who can be counted on to defend you in the face of criticism, opposition, and misunderstandings. She should never have to wonder if you `painted her in a bad light’ if you `took up for her’, or if you stopped gossip about her, her family or the church. She needs to be able to know that you are a loyal friend.

This article “How To Respect Your Pastor’s Wife” complied by Evangeline Rodenbush is excerpted from Apostolic Accent the October 2006 edition.