Telling It Like It Is
Compiled By Vaughn Morton & Joyce Barnes
We wish to acknowledge and thank everyone who helped to compile and write this booklet – for their time, patience and faithfulness. We want to thank all of the members of Truth Tabernacle who gave ideas. Suggestions, materials and encouragement. We are also deeply indebted to William D Orr and by his book entitled – Love, Courtship and Marriage.
Pastor Vaughn Morton and Joyce Barnes January 1974
Through the years it has been our experience that the young adult years are the most difficult in a person’s life.
At this time of life, young people begin to consider career, security in life, stability, and most important of all, a mate for life.
Many questions arise about what is proper and right for young people to do in a dating situation. This booklet is to be a guideline and a help for you as you date. We pray that this book answers your questions about courtship – the Pentecostal Way.
Into, great house. . .
there are vessels. . .
Some are of gold. . .
some are of silver. . .
Some are of wood…
and some are of clay. . .
Some are of honor…
others are of dishonor. . . ”
But one vessel stands Out…
always above any other…
It is the clean vessel
Set aside…separated
Ready for the Master’s use
Prepared to do His work…
It has been our privilege and pleasure
To prepare this booklet for you
May it help you always be
Vessels of Honor
Special Message from The Pastor
Dearest Pentecostal Conqueror:
I thank God for you. . . You are important. . . To God… to the church… and to me.
This booklet has been compiled with you in mind. The subject matter is extremely important. Choosing a partner for life is a great choice. In fact it is one of life’s greatest choices. To choose wisely you must have a clean heart and a right spirit.
A wrong spirit… a wrong choice…
These could rob you of life’s sweetness… and usefulness…
It could ruin your entire life.
God is interested in you.
He is never too busy to help!
He is never too busy to care!
It is the will of God for you to be happy!
It is the will of God for your life to have direction.
Read this book slowly…
Read it carefully. . . and prayerfully. . .
GET IT IN YOUR HEART!
Feel free to come to me with your questions. I want to help you.
Remember. . .
I’m on your side,
Pastor Vaughn Morton
Stop! Look! Listen!
To become a vessel of honor you must learn to listen! You must listen to your parents:
They love you. They want you to be happy. Their rules are for your own good.
You must listen to your pastor:
He is your spiritual leader. He loves you. He desires your happiness. Subject yourself to his judgement.
He is your soul watcher. Confide in him. . . have confidence in him. . . He is your friend.
You must listen to God…
You must learn to accept authority.
In life you will always be under some authority. You must learn to accept it. . . children are governed by parents.. . Students are governed by teachers. . .
Workers are governed by bosses. . . Drivers are governed by the laws of the land. . .
Let God… His Word… His Spirit and His Order. . . govern you! Only then will you be happy!
You must earn trust.
So you want to be trusted? Don’t we all?. . . And why not? You will be trusted unless… You give a reason not to be. . . Never. . . Never. . . Never place yourself in a position that no one will respect or trust you!
God is counting on you…
Be trustworthy!
Is There Not A Reason?
Yes!. . . There is a reason…
There is a very definite reason for your life. God has a plan for you! You are here for a purpose.
No, you can’t make your own plans. . .
You are only human. . .
And humans are so hopelessly limited. . .
But there is a God in the heavens…
And He is able.
He will plan for you…
His plan will be in accord with His Word…
It will work for your good… Trust in Him with all of your heart…
And He will unfold it…
And as it unfolds…
It will be right and good
You have your part to play too! Everything you do must fit in with God’s plan. Every choice and every decision must be made on that basis. . . otherwise… look out… You will know tears… heartbreak. . . defeat…
But there is no need to miss God’s plan!
Proverbs 3:5 6 says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths.”
Just Let It Unfold
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God’s design
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine
The secret of unfolding flowers,
Is not known to such as I;
The flower God opens so sweetly
Would in my hands fade and die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God’s, design
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I’ll Trust in Him for His leading,
Each moment of Every day;
And I’ll look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim Way.
For the pathway that lies before me,
My heavenly Father knows;
I’ll trust Him to unfold the moments
Just as He unfolds the rose.
There Is A Difference
And aren’t you glad?
You are a born again child of God!
You are born again of water and Spirit.
(Acts 2:38)
‘This does make a difference. . . a whole lot of difference. You act Differently. . . talk Differently. . . dress Differently. Even your love life and friendships will be Different.’
You are not your own! A great price was paid to ransom you!
You belong to Jesus wholly and rightfully! Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost.
And Jesus is yours! His divine wisdom will guide you.
His power will keep you
Everything that concerns you concerns Him. He is touched by the way you feel about everything! Bring Him your problems. . . perplexities… decisions. He will show you what to do.
Since you are a child of the King, live that way. The Bible says in Psalms 45:13 “The King’s daughter is all glorious within.” That inner beauty and glory should be reflected in you. Use every part of your body to give glory back to God! This applies to dating, courtship, love and marriage.
Telling It Like It Is
Just For The Boys
Why not talk to yourself?
I am a Pentecostal boy! It’s great to live for God! It’s great to be masculine as God intended me to be. (Even the word masculine has a strong sound to it.) I just like being what God wants me to be!
In spiritual standards I will stand tall! I’ll dare to be different!
In my way of dress I’ll not be sissy! No feminine clothes for me. . . No ruffles or frills. . . No “high heels” or “purses” for me. . . No tight fitting clothes; No tee shirts in public.
My hair will be just what God says. . . short. No long hair or sideburns. . . it’s a mark of the world. (Say! All the boys get haircuts and jobs!)
I will earn the respect of the girls. I will be good to them. . . treat them right. I will treat them as ladies. . . I will maintain high moral standards.
My body… soul. . . spirit…
Belong to the Lord. . .
And it is Him I must glorify.
“I will live for those that love me.
For those who know me true,
For the heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit too.”
Telling It Like It Is
Just for The Girls
I am a girl! A Pentecostal girl! I am thrilled because God loves me! He cares how I look. . . how I act. . . and how I dress! It is right for me to be modestly lovely for the honor of my Lord… I will dress attractively. . . modestly. . . and be feminine. There will be no dowdiness in my dress.
I will not pattern after the fashion of this world. There is so much indecency there. . . (mini skirts. . . shorts. . . slacks. . . immodest attire. . .) 1 will not let my clothing. . . or lack of it. . . pave the way for impurity of thought in others.
And since I am Pentecostal, I will act like a lady! No women’s lib for me… I will stay in my place. It is the will of God to be as the Bible says for me to be in I Tim. 2:9 10
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
My place is not to call boys. . . let them call me. . . My place is not to be forward and bold. . . I will not be aggressive with the boys. . . I don’t want to be loud mouthed. . . or show off.. This is embarrassing even to us girls.
“I will be true, for the sake of those who trust me.” My God. . . My parents. . . My pastor. . . my friends. . . and eventually. . .”That Special Someone.”
Telling It Like It Is
About Friends
Have many friends… This is Good… This is right. Even the Book of the Ages stresses friendship. And to have friends. . . You must be friendly.
But friendship must always be on the right basis. Boys and Girls were made to like each other. It is right for you to share in many social activities. . . It is right for you to have a good time! You don’t want to be a lover. . . God doesn’t want you to be.
But He does want you to use care in the selection of your friends. . .Friendship can be Bible based. Read II Cor. 6:14 18. Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers! You are not of this world. Live a separated life. . . This limits your friendship with certain people. . . It will enrich it with others. . . A person is judged by the company he keeps. . . It is best to “Stay with your Own Company!”
It is right for boys to like girls. . . It is right for girls to like the boys… But some relationships just aren’t right…
It is wrong for boys to “like” the boys. It is wrong for them to be physically, lustfully attracted to boys. . . It is wrong for girls to “like” the girls.
This is an area Satan would like to trip you in. . . It is an unfamiliar place to many of you. You must be on guard. . . Avoid any person of your sex who relates to you in any physical familiar sense (holding hands, special favors). This spirit is the spirit of the hour…
THIS IS NOT THE WILL OF GOD!
Just What Is Love?
Love has many definitions.
Webster says:
Love is a strong liking, fondness, tender affection for one of the opposite sex. It is a feeling of strong, personal attachment.
The world says:
Love is the gratification of sensuous desire or sensual pleasure.
The average youth says:
Love is passionate kisses, promiscuous fondling; even stolen affection on the unholy side. This is not the will of God!
The Bible says:
God is Love. In a wonderful, delightful way we know love . . . because we know Him. . . Do not leave God out of your definition. It will not be love. . . It will be only plain, physical lust.
Love has been so improperly portrayed! Lurid love magazines and fantasy love stories; sensational movies and T.V. programs. . . worldly music and singing… have falsely educated the mind and heart… to accept lust for love…
This really isn’t love at all. . . Just cheap substitutions of what God intended love to be.
Real love is always centered in God. It is based on the Bible. It is always clean. . . pure, thoughtful. . . longsuffering. . . and faithful. . . You just can’t define love without these qualities. . . No need to try!
Telling It Like It Is
About Love
*Love is normal… it really is.
Don’t run from it! Don’t hide! Don’t be afraid! Love is quite normal. It is right to love a particular someone. It is right to marry. It is right to have a family. It is right to be happy!
But Stop!
While we affirm that love is normal. . . Let us add a warning note…
There is danger in the abuse of love. . . Love can get out of hand. . . !t can jump the track. . . then there is trouble. Keep love where it belongs. . . within proper bounds. Follow God’s rules! They are for you!
*Love has a pure mind. . . it really does.
A pure mind thinks right. . . A pure mind thinks positively. . . Impure thoughts defile. Stand guard over your thought life. . . Fill it with good things. Fill it with God’s Word! Talk much about the Lord. . . And remember. . . idleness. . . is not conducive to good thinking!
* Love is patient… Will you accept that?
Worthwhile things often require waiting. . . And true love is worthwhile. . . It is well worth the wait. . . So. . . Don’t be in a hurry about love. Don’t be worried about being an old maid. . . You haven’t failed if you haven’t headed for the altar at 17. just take your time. . . Let patience have her perfect work in your life. . .
You will be glad you did!
*Love is morally clean… don’t ever doubt it!
Keeping a “clean house” is your responsibility. Keep yourself morally right. . . You will find an inner strength and beauty. . . You will not be under condemnation. . . You can hold your head up high. . . You can look…
the world. . . your parents. . . your friends. . . your pastor. . . your church. . . and yourself. . .
in the eye!
Love that is morally clean brings you to marriage, a virgin. (Virgins are not out of date!) Love that is clean keeps the fellow pure, too.
In spite of the new morality theory. . . Real Christians turn “thumbs down” on sex before marriage. . .
Glorify God in your bodies! Don’t ever allow your bodies to become instruments of sin!
*Some girls have lost their virginity before becoming a Christian. . .
I John 1:9 has the answer
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. . .”
And then, “Forgive Yourself!” Now you are clean and pure. . . Keep it that way!
*Love is honorable… It treads so carefully.
Love always shows a sense of what is right and proper. It is never cheap! It is never “loose”. It is never vulgar. It holds “lofty standards”.
It respects the giver. It respects the recipient. It is very careful to hold to right. . . And it is not right for you to pet before marriage. . . Petting is a prime tool of Satan in courtship. True love will never bow its head to the cry: “Everybody does it!”
Petting is called by many names. . . smooching. . . necking. . . making out. . . etc. Petting means different things in some vocabularies. . .
So let’s be plain. . . Let’s tell it like it is. . . to Pentecostal Youth!
Petting is being familiar with another’s body in any close physical contact that stimulates sexual desire. . .
Petting includes kissing. . . caressing. . . hugging. . . fondling. . .
Expressions of love are right. . . but only when a couple is eternally pledged. . . by marriage vows. . . Indulging in such expressions without God’s approval is wrong!
True love never treads more carefully… any place. . . than here. . . It guards the five senses God has placed in the human body. . . It is careful what its eyes look upon. . . It is careful what its ears listen to It is careful not to allow its touch to become common. . . or unclean…
“Hands off” is really the best policy! It is a safe and right way. It is a proven way. . . It is old fashioned. . . but it shows good, common sense!
Talk to yourself about that “special Someone”
I. If I marry this person, will I be able to do the work God expects of me?
II. Has this person been baptized in Jesus Name. . . and filled with the Holy Ghost according to Acts 2:38? (No other is a Christian. . . and I am to never. . . never. . . never marry any other.)
III. Am I mature enough to make a right choice? (Young people are just settling ideas. . . of likes and dislikes at 20.) Young minds are easily swayed.
IV. Is this person totally committed to God? (Am l?)
V. Am I willing to share my entire life with this person? Can I gladly forsake all others?
VI. Do I realize “till death do us part”? Marriage is for life!
Telling It Like It Is
About Engagements
“Wilt Thou Go With This Man?”
Before this question is asked or answered talk to your Parents and Pastor! Take them into your confidence.
Boys, before you ask the big question. . . talk to them.
Girls, when you know it’s love. . . and you anticipate the question. . . talk to them.
When you get engaged, let it be with their consent and blessing!
Make your engagement period a glad time. . . The length of the engagement. . . is determined by you two. . . Don’t marry too soon. . . And don’t wait for years. . . Five or six months will give you time to plan.
It will give you time to adjust to each other. Many things will be discussed… debated… decided…
And should you decide ‘this won’t work’. . .; Or that you aren’t in love. . . Break that engagement. Never enter into marriage unless you are sure.
This is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it !
What a day! What a perfectly wonderful day! Your Wedding Day!
“This day” will always be a cherished memory. . . “This day” will be often remembered. . . Make it a happy, sacred time. . .
Plan your wedding carefully. . . Pray about your wedding… pray about it together… Keep God in your plans!
A church wedding? Of course. . . Marriage is a sacred occasion… Marriage is a spiritual union. . . What better place than the House of the Lord?
Have a lovely wedding. . . Keep it simple and modest. . . Keep the Spirit of worldliness out. . . Don’t make it a fashion show. . . Be considerate of those in the wedding party. Keep the cost down!
And speaking of cost. . . Your wedding does not have to be elaborate to be nice. It is not the will of God to have expensive weddings…
Music. . . decorations. . . candles. . . dress. . . Everything should be in harmony with the spirituality of the occasion…
Then when you stand at the altar together. . . you will be so glad you did it right. . . You have honored the presence of God in your wedding. . .
This is the day. . . Rejoice and be glad in it!
. So you have met at the altar…
…Joined hands and hearts…
…made sacred vows…
Now walk together
down life’s road…
Your goal is heaven…
You’ll make it…
If You Just Keep On Living For God!
Telling It Like It Is
Compiled
By Vaughn Morton & Joyce Barnes
