The Self-Centered Sin of Masturbation
By Steve Gallagher

Q: How do I counsel couples about masturbation that are separated for a year at a time from being in the military?

A: You should encourage them to remain pure before God and for each other.
God created sex as a means for a married couple to physically express their love to one another. It is a very special act, providing the closest possible intimacy two people can enjoy together. It is built upon a foundation of mutual love.

Masturbation, on the other hand, is self-centered and is driven by lust and fantasy. Sex is not meant to be a mechanical, physical activity comparable to relieving oneself in the bathroom. Inherently, it must involve another person-if not physically then mentally. To generate the sexual excitement necessary to bring oneself to orgasm requires that a person focus his thoughts
upon someone else-a pornographic picture, the mental image of someone he has seen, or some sexual fantasy. This is morally wrong and sinful.

I believe that those who advocate fantasizing about one’s partner in such a situation are not being realistic. When a person enters the highly sensuous mindset that materializes as he begins to touch himself sexually, it is next to impossible to confine his thoughts on his mate.

It is better to advocate maintaining a pure life while away from each other. I have personally taken numerous trips overseas when I was away from Kathy for weeks at a time. God sustained me and I never considered masturbation as an option. Being away from my wife for such a length of time and keeping myself pure only made my reunion with her all the better. It’s better to keep one’s
sex life tied closely to the love for one’s mate and avoid the carnal mindset that goes with masturbation.

Bio: Steve Gallagher

Steve and Kathy Gallagher, founders of Pure Life Ministries, have dedicated their lives to helping men overcome sexual sin through holiness and a passionate pursuit of Jesus Christ. In 1986, they started a small support group in the living room of their home.

Appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, 48-Hours with Dan Rather, The 700 Club, Focus on the Family, and a host of other programs quickly brought national exposure to the ministry as a place men could turn to find God’s answers to sexual addiction. Today, Christian men from all over the world come to the Pure Life Ministries Live-In Program: a 45-acre facility regarded as the premier residential program for Christian men seeking God’s answers to sexual sin.

Steve and Kathy make their home in Dry Ridge, KY.