Things You Hear That Are Seldom True
Mike Atkinson

Things you hear – besides “The check is in the mail” – that probably aren’t true:

* (After giving directions) …you can’t miss it.

* I never watch television except PBS.

* The engine is supposed to make that noise.

* I never inhaled.

* Just ignore him — he’s never bitten anyone.

* Don’t worry, I can get another 40 miles when the gauge is on “empty.”

* It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.

* You get this one and I’ll pay next time.

* I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.

* I’ll call you right back.

* I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

* Don’t worry.

* I don’t need a nice ring when you ask me to marry you.

* Almost any answer to the question, “Do these pants make my rear end look big?”

* I will pay you back next week.

* I only had one drink, officer.

* I’ll be there in 5 minutes.

* No, your driver’s license picture looks fine.

* The dog ate my homework.

* It tastes just like chicken.

* This car is just like new.

* Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

* This will pay for itself the first time you use it.

* We don’t need to stop for directions. I know exactly where we are.

* Congratulations! You’ve just won an all expense paid trip to the destination of your choice. Absolutely free! No strings attached.

Sadly, “I’ll be praying for you.”

Today’s Thought:

I joined a fitness club last year; spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most churches. As the old saying goes “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.”

This article “Things You Hear That Are Seldom True” was gathered by Mike Atkinson. It was excerpted from: www.mikesfunnies.com web site. December 2010. It may be used for study & research purposes only.