Your Wedding
By Vaughn Morton
Matthew 19:4-6
4 …Have ye not reed, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
From the Pastor
Because you have chosen to be married at Truth Tabernacle of Fresno, this booklet has been provided to help you plan your very special ceremony and reception in keeping with the spirit and the standards of the church. In these pages we will share with you what those standards are so that your wedding will be a beautiful, holy event that you will remember and treasure.
Weddings at our church are always joyous occasions. More important, though, weddings here are spiritual celebrations where the Bride and Groom publicly seek God’s blessing on their union. You can see how different this kind of wedding is than those that are performed in courthouses, parks, homes or at Reno. The meaning of your wedding, then, is deepened and strengthened by the reverence, the Godliness, and the discreetness of the ceremony. Your wedding and reception need not be elaborate. In fact, we have found that the simple, sweet wedding is more appropriate than the grand production.
We want your wedding to reflect the wonderful love that God has given His children. We urge you to make thorough preparations, both for the wedding day and for the spiritual life you will have together that this day signifies.
It is because I care, that the following is submitted.
1. Let simplicity be the keynote – Simplicity and Godly sincerity. II Cor 1:12
2. Sincerity and holiness should be felt. Talk your plans over with the Pastor. Be sure you have his approval. Keep in mind that the Pastor has the right to call off any wedding if he feels that the marriage or the ceremony planned do not meet the standards set forth in the Bible.
3. Remember to consider others as you would want to be considered. All through life we need others. A wedding is no exception. You will want your friends to share in the beauty and thrill of your wedding, this is right, but do consider them. Try to keep their cost down. Choose clothes that can be worn later. Some of our people are in 3 or 4 weddings a year – this costs.
4. Keep a right spirit.
5. Don’t have a competitive spirit. And if someone uses your ideas, colors, etc., don’t get upset! Everything will be alright. Don’t compare your plans with a past or future wedding and feel badly because you feel yours will not be as nice or pretty. Who said all weddings had to be alike? . . . Or different? Just do it your own way, if God doesn’t care.
For The Men
I Cor. 6:9 Nor effeminate.
Effeminate:
Delicate
Womanish
Feminine
Unmanly
Soft
If God does not allow effeminate men in the kingdom of God – surely they have no place in your wedding.
Dress like a man. No ruffles, frills, sissy shirts, white coats, or feminine colors.
Dark basic colors are best, there is no set rule
That you must wear tuxedoes – I suggest your money be invested in a nice dark suit, that can be worn again.
The Bride
As a Bride adorned for her husband. Rev. 21:2
This is your day! Rejoice and be glad in it!
Brides should be beautiful, but modestly so.
If you desire a formal wedding gown-wear one-but don’t feel compelled by other to do it their way.
Do choose your dress wisely, carefully, and prayerfully!
Buy it, make it, or have it made if you must. (not see through) Just be sure it is right for you as a child of God. Also Bride, make sure that the other girls in your wedding wear dresses that are holy-no low necks, or short sleeves, etc.
The most important thing is to be adorned the Bible way. I Tim. 2:9-10 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array: But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”
In doing so, you will please God.
And of course in keeping with God’s word-rings are never used in our weddings.
I Peter 3:1 & 3 “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let in not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel.”
Music For Your Wedding
It will be to your benefit to arrange for the organist, soloist, and music, as soon as possible. Many brides do this as soon as they begin to make their plans in order to give the musicians ample time to practice. Music is a very important part of a Christian wedding because it enriches and emphasizes the solemn vows you take. If you know far in advance what songs you are going to use, you will be better able to plan the rest of your wedding.
The best way to select the right music for your wedding is to have a conference with the organist. He (or she) can help you decide on what is proper and can offer suggestions if you have no ideas. The purpose of wedding music is to glorify God, who is love, and to lift up the hearts and thoughts of those present as the marriage vows are spoken in sincerity and warmth. Keep this in mind as you select your music.
It is customary and proper for you to pay or give your organist a gift of appreciation. Also travel expenses should be paid, if traveling from another city is necessary. Checking for current charges would be in order.
Also, remember a token of appreciation for all singers in your wedding.
The Wedding
Every wedding needs a coordinator. You will find that this person, whomever you choose, (we have several here in Truth Tabernacle that can do this), can help you with what is proper and customary for all parts of your wedding. She will coordinate your rehearsal and direct each member, making sure that all know what to do – you will be glad to have her there. You should remember this person with a nice gift.
Your Wedding Rehearsal
The wedding coordinator will conduct your rehearsal when all the participants have arrived. Many times in the excitement and haste people are late for the rehearsal. This causes the entire evening to run late because the rehearsal cannot begin until everyone is there. It is to the benefit of the Bride and Groom to make sure each person knows what time he must be there. Be sure to tell your wedding party that the rehearsal is a time to go over every detail of the ceremony in order, and that the coordinator will tell them what is expected of them. It will also help you greatly to let your friends and family know that the rehearsal will not take long at all if everyone is quiet and listens to the coordinator directions. Your rehearsal should be a time for everyone to get straight in his mind what will happen during the wedding. We cannot stress enough the importance of the full cooperation of the entire wedding party at your rehearsal! Here are some things you should know regarding the rehearsal and the wedding.
1. Unless otherwise arranged, each rehearsal will begin at 7:30 p.m. on the evening before your wedding day. The rehearsal requires one full hour of work, plus fifteen minutes to instruct the ushers. Rehearsals are never held on the day of the wedding – it is just too much for everyone to do!
2. Both parents of the Bride and Groom should be at the rehearsal.
3. The ushers MUST be at the rehearsal – they need to work with the coordinator vey carefully. She will tell them about wedding etiquette, when to seat the mothers, family members, etc.
4. Make sure that you hand deliver your marriage license to the minister during the week prior to your wedding. Do not take a chance by sending it through the mail.
The Bride to be is to give the Pastor a list telling how she wants her wedding. He must have the list two weeks before the wedding.
Make sure you have a list of your attendants to read off at the rehearsal as soon as the Wedding Coordinator is ready to begin.
Wedding Rehearsal Dinner
It is customary to have a get-together dinner after the wedding rehearsal for the wedding party. This should be provided for by the bridegroom. This is the time to give gifts to the wedding party.
Your Wedding
Everyone in your wedding party should arrive at the church no later than 1 1/2 hours before the wedding is to begin. You need this time to dress, take care of any last minute details.
Provide the coordinator with a list stating who the corsages and boutonnieres go to. She will see that everyone who should be wearing a corsage or a boutonniere has it pinned on properly. She will help you if you need questions answered during the time before the ceremony.
Flowers and Decorations
As you know, it is your responsibility as the Bride to plan all the flowers and decorations for your wedding. It is your responsibility to engage the florist and to supply all that is needed for the reception. You and your family must see to it that all flowers and decorations from the ceremony and the reception are cleaned up as soon as everything is over. If you use candles, be sure they have drip shields underneath, to protect the carpet.
The Photographer
It is your responsibility as the Bride to contact the photographer of your choice. You must do this at least two months before the wedding.
You should talk with your photographer about what you want and tell him about the policies of this church concerning weddings. Because of the nature of the Christian wedding, we do not allow any flash pictures to be taken after the Pastor begins the message. This would cause everyone’s attention to be taken away from the ceremony. He may take pictures of you entering and leaving, however. Often photographers take time exposures of the ceremony. This is acceptable, because it does not cause a disturbance. Usually, pictures are taken after the ceremony. Some couples prefer to take pictures before the wedding so that they can be at the reception as soon as possible. If you decide to do this, make sure you arrange to do it before your guests arrive.
Some customs do not belong to us. They have the taint of the world. They have been brought about by people who do not practice holiness.
Toasting . . . a much followed custom of the world is not the will of God for us as Christians.
Tossing the garter . . . is another taboo.
Be sure your photographers know what to do, and what not to do, it is up to you to tell him.
RECEPTION
If you want to have your reception in the church Social Hall, you should make these arrangements at the same time you arrange to have your wedding.
The reception is “the time” for best wishes and congratulations. It is a time for the Bride and Groom to greet and be with their guests.
Plan your reception according to your budget and not someone else’s. You don’t have to have a big cake. Maybe you want several small ones.
Neither do you have to have a buffet. But do remember the guests are people that you have invited, plan to take care of them. Simplicity is in order at the reception.
You don’t have to ask your servers to have a special dress. This can be too expensive for a lot of people.
Clean Up Time
“Not slothful . . .” Rom 12:11
Be sure you make arrangements for someone to clean the church and social hall after the wedding. It has been a long time custom here at Truth Tabernacle for the Bridesmaids to help decorate the church and for the ushers to clean the church and social hall after the wedding. It is your responsibility to be sure “definite” arrangements have been made for someone to clean up after the reception. It is very inconsiderate to leave the work to those people who are your guests.
“We have an altar” Heb. 13:10
As you join hand in hand to become one today, Walk softly to the altar- it is God’s best way..
The altar will sustain you, use it again and again. Especially let it bless you on your wedding day.
Your wedding vows are sacred to be held in deepest trust. Take them in “the holy place” let the altar be a must.
As you leave this sacred spot and walk away as one, Purpose to live near the altar until life together is done.
“Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:9
Your Wedding Party
Bride:
Groom:
Parents:
Bridesmaids:
Groomsmen:
Ushers:
Candle lighters:
Miniature Bride and Groom
Flower Girls:
Guest Book Attendant:
Servers:
Soloist:
Organist:
Coordinator:
Photographer:
Your Wedding Party- Pastor’s Copy
Bride:
Groom:
Parents:
Bridesmaids:
Groomsmen:
Ushers:
Candle lighters:
Miniature Bride and Groom
Flower Girls:
Guest Book Attendant:
Servers:
Soloist:
Organist:
Coordinator:
Photographer:
Order of Ceremony
(Sample)
1. Candle lighters enter.
2. Groom’s mother enter (Grandmother enters first)
Bride’s mother enters (Grandmother enters first)
3. Song __ by?????
4. Pastor, Groom & Groomsmen enter
5. Bridesmaids enter
6. Flower girl enter
7. Miniature Bride and Groom enter
8. Bride and Father enters
9. Ceremony
10. Song __ by??????
11. Prayer
12. Minister pronounces man and wife.
13. Recessional music
Pastor’s Information
1. Wedding Party (Pastor’s copy) 2 weeks before wedding.
2. Order of Ceremony (Pastor’s copy) 2 weeks before wedding.
3. Pattern of Girl’s dresses.
4. Wedding License, week prior to wedding.
This booklet “Your Wedding” written by Vaughn Morton is published by Truth Tabernacle, Fresno, CA.
